You Know How To Please Me
by cassandra0119
Summary: They just can't keep their dirty little hands off of each other. Kyle likes it to be rational, but the physical part goes to Cartman's head and sets off all new adventures for the two boys...Kyle/Cartman


**This is nothing but smut/humor/romance.**

**If you no like smut, I suggest you leave this page because I'm not holding my imagination back on these porno words that I'm writing.**

**I do not own south park**

**Caution- smut, language, Cartman's fatass, Kyle's bitchiness and slutty attitude, and fangasms to go all around.**

**I'm not going to tell who's personality this is, I think you'll be smart enough to figure it out. I'm not telling you because I want the beginning to have suspense. **

**You Know How To Please Me**

Love is hard. It's like a war that can never be won. It's like a rubix cube that is impossible to match the colors up. But most of all, It's like a carousal that goes around and around and around, never stopping to reach out to the lover in front of you. It just keeps spinning and spinning round and round making the person in front of you fell so close but yet so fucking far away. I now hate carousels, they scare the hell out of me just because of that one simple reason. I don't want a love to leave me, it would break my heart. And that's one of the main reasons why I gave up on the whole "love" thing.

Hatred is easy. It's like a war that you can win, but you choose to drag it out just to piss the other opponent off. It's like an easy game of cards which you could easily cheat at. And it's like a never ending game that will go on until the end of time, just so that you could enjoy the fun and the pleasure it brings you when you find out you're winning.

Love and Hatred have two complete opposite definitions. Hatred is only exposed in the emotions of anger, hurt, and paralyzing agony. Whereas Love is only exposed in the emotions of happiness, trust, and loyalty. Even though they are defined and told as two words with nothing in common,they both find a sneaky way to connect to each other. Let's take relationships for example, every relationship you see is based off of love. And yes, relationships do have hatred in them as well, some with a little more than others, but all in all, there's still hatred.

But let's just say that two people aren't in a relationship. Would you still show love and hatred? I would, and I actually do. The people that I claim to "hate" most, are the ones that I wish I could have as my own. I wish I could love them. I wish that I could call them my property. And there's only one person on the face of this earth that deserves that title. He deserves to be treated with nothing but the most up right respect, nothing but love and companionship. He deserves the world in his hands and a love that will stick by his side no matter what the situation might be.

However, my love life is not important right now, I wanted to tell about how much my life has changed through the years of my childhood to now. It's changed quit a tremendous amount and I am pleased with my wise decision. I started changing my life around about the beginning of middle school, I wanted to become someone when I grew up, I wanted to be a billionaire and live my life in a sweet mansion that lived next door to Mel Gibson. But of course, I was a child at the age of eight, so I didn't know what the hell I was thinking at the time. I remember being a huge fan of bands about the time I reached middle school. I was into the heavy metal kinda music that blared through the headphones so that everybody knew what I was listening to. I was also a very rebellious teenager I guess you could say, Well i guess I could say that I still am. I loved all the new and hip things growing up. I was the guy who was so main stream and up to date with the new trends. As I recall, I believe that the goth kids called me "a stupid conformist", but who even gives a shit about them, right?

I was the spoiled brat in my little group of friends. Ever since I was a little boy, I've always gotten what I wanted, and I still do, but I just can't get who I want. I always threw a fit when I didn't get what I wanted and I would hold a grudge out to whoever didn't give it to me. I used to be the one that everyone hated, I used to be the one that was mommy's perfect little angle, I used to be the most egotistical , racist, backstabbing, two faced, Hitler loving, hippie hating, son-of-a-bitch. there used to be no emotion in me, nothing but pure hatred towards anybody that stood in my way. My eyes used to glow red with so much fury. They had no love in them what so ever. I don't even think that I had a soul. I wasn't the type of guy that you wanted to fuck with, but I always ended up getting my ass kicked in the long run. I didn't show compassion to anyone . I never offered a hand out to the one's who needed it most, and that soon back fired on me. Anyways, all of those things have changed a perfect one hundred and eighty degrees. I realized about the time that I reached high school that I didn't need a mansion and tons of cash, I needed somebody to love. Somebody to hold, somebody to care for, and somebody that felt the same way back. I never wanted to be a bad person, it just came like second nature to me to act that way. I was never really close to my mom, she was gone half of my life anyways. She was gone most of the time selling her body to the next pedophile that was willing to give her money for awful jobs that should be given with love. But I'm not going to say that I don't love my mother, I honestly do, I love her more than life it'self, but I want a love that will live the rest of their life with me. But don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those guys that date everybody in town until they give me sex, I want that one true love by my side at all times, and I know who could play the role perfectly...

This may seem kind of strange, but I don't exactly swing for the same team. meaning that I'm gay. I don't like to say that so quickly because I used to nag at my friends because they were gay, or at least I joked around with them.

But I don't want to talk about my sexuality just yet, I want to describe what a perfect man is for me. I want a guy that will bend and break to each of my commands, I want him to show me love in even the most worst possible time to show it. I want someone that is perky and makes me happy even in my most down moments.

The list just goes on and on, but only one describes it to a T...

Kyle.

The Jew is always in my dreams, I always think about him, he's always on m mind. One time I even got in trouble in class for daydreaming about him. He's been nothing but a pain in my ass since I realized this, but how could you stay mad at a hot assed Jew like that? His body figure is absolutely gorgeous, he can't weigh no more than a hundred twenty pounds, and his curves make my mouth water at the the sight, they look like women's but it just adds that little cherry to the top of a sundae. His hair is incredible, the red locks hang sloppily down just at his ears, but it just sets the final little touch to him. His eyes make me shudder, they're just the most cutest color I've ever seen, they shimmer that sparkly emerald green color and they make all my worst memories of him fade away completely. And the number one thing I like about him? I love his personality, his humor, his determination, his honesty, his loyalty towards his friends. You just can't do anything else with him, he's perfect just the way he is, nothing but a sexy little Jew rat.

And I'm going to get my hands on him, one way or another. He's going to beg for me.


End file.
